—By Sai Devotee Disha
I have been reading articles in this blog
from a long time. I came across an article which described an experience so
similar to me and it is coincidence that I read this at the same time when I
needed to know if Baba is there for me. I was inspired to share my unforgettable
experience with our beloved BABA.
Last year, it had been an unimaginable agony year. It began with setbacks like
betrayal from some near ones, leading to isolation, followed by my father's
heart attack and other family issues. It was impossible for me to concentrate on
my academics as I was almost into depression and couldn’t feel peaceful and
contented with anything at any hour of the day.
It was when I started worshiping Sai as I had heard a lot about Him. I visited
Shirdi in quest of PEACE. When I returned, I resumed with my study but because
of persistence of distractions and negative thoughts, my concentration level
continued to remain low. Also, at the time when I was in Shirdi, my elder
brother had met with a major accident which I was told about by my family when I
returned. Soon he recovered and one day when we were chatting, he told me that
the accident was a very major one and only a few seconds decided his fate and I
winked, smiled and said, "How could have anything happened to you, when I was at
Baba's place itself" and he smiled back and agreed.
Few days passed and dad's heart problem was getting the better. We tried our
best not to discuss any problem or any stress related issue in front of him and
keep him happy so that he can regain his will and recover soon. But I was
getting weak at mind because situations are adding fuel to my depression and I
became sunken at face. I lost 50% of my hair due to stress and became insomniac
and my concentration power was being even weaker and leading me to resort to
tranquilizers.
Amidst of all this, I kept on talking enthusiastically about Baba to bhaiya
(brother) and make him hear Baba's "Gyara Vachan" (Eleven Quotes), aartis and
other bhajans and consequently he once wished to visit “SAI TEMPLE” with us on a
Thursday. I was more than pleased to take him along and we visited Baba Temple
on the same day. During aarti he kept his eyes closed and was smiling and
dancing to the tune of the aarti. This made me laugh because he looked funny
doing that in the crowd. He then changed his ringtone to "Sai Mantra" and his
inclination increased towards Baba even more. Bhaiya (brother) started spending
more time with us whenever he got time from office and I used to love being
there with him.
Meanwhile, I kept suffering in silence from depression, which I was embarrassed
to discuss with my family or anyone and dad's heart ailment stopped me from even
thinking to bring up the issue. My only hope was SAI and I continued praying to
Him.
Just one month before my major entrance exams, On Thursday my father entered
home from work with a grief-stricken face and started crying uncontrollably. Mom
and I became scared to death. I was thinking that what's next now. After asking
dad many times, He regained strength and told that, "Bhaiya chala gaya"(brother
died). We paralysed for few minutes. I struggled to speak and asked how. I was
told that he met with a major accident and died on spot. I couldn’t believe what
I was just told. I called my uncle, who was in the same hospital where my
brother was admitted and declared dead, and asked him to check again that it
can’t be true. But he confirmed that bhaiya (brother) had expired.