Leela-77
I am not alone - Baba is with Me
by K S Shenoy
I am pleased to share my following glorious experience with innumerable Sai
devotees.
It was during November, 1997. My wife and myself went to our daughter's home in
the United States. I am a diabetic patient and I also had an attack of severe
bronchitis before we left India. The doctors here had prescribed medication to
be taken during our stay in the US.
We reached US on schedule and continued to stay with our daughter comfortably.
As per our routine, we used to worship our beloved deity Sri Sainath by chanting
the usual prayers everyday. We had planned our sojourn for three months. On the
thirtieth day after our arrival in US, I suddenly had severe cramps in the
chest. I could not bear the pain or breath. I lied down wherever I was. We were
alone in the house with the infant kids of our daughter, as our daughter and
son-in-law had left for their work. I was alone in the drawing room when I had
these cramps. I somehow beckoned my wife who was in the kitchen. She was shocked
when she saw my plight and immediately phoned my daughter at the office. It was
snowing at the time and there was eighteen inches of snow on the road and
approach to our home. Temperature outside was below zero. On hearing about my
condition at home one of her senior colleague helped her drive through the snow
and they rushed to the house within fifteen minutes.
When my daughter saw my distressed state, she did not waste time pondering. She
called the emergency service and explained to them of our predicament. Within
ten minutes, the emergency squad arrived at our place fully equipped. There were
two doctors too in the squad. They checked my condition, took ECG on the spot
and decided that it was a stroke and that I have to be immediately admitted to a
hospital having facility to perform a heart surgery. There were two hospitals
nearby who could perform the surgery. As it was heavily snowing, most of the
roads were blocked. I was physically immobile but I was in senses. I pleaded
that "I need not be taken to any hospital and I will be all right soon and that
I can get necessary medical aid in India." The emergency squad insisted that I
should be taken to the hospital and specialist doctors will decide the future
course. They asked for our preference of hospital, and my son-in-law suggested a
name known to him, where there was a specialist Indian doctor attached to them.
They then put me on the stretcher and we waded through snow on the way to the
hospital.
Within 30 minutes we reached the place. On arrival, the staff took me to the
emergency cell. I distinctly remember that, lying on the stretcher on way to
emergency room, I was continuously chanting and remembering Lord Sainath's name.
Silently chanting his name I may have lapsed into an unconscious state. Within
an hour I understand that they conducted various tests including
catheterization. The tests suggested that there were four blocks in the
arteries. A conference was held among various doctors and surgeons and it was
decided that an open heart bypass surgery has to be conducted without delay.
Hospital authorities summoned the anesthetist and within two hours of arriving
at the hospital the surgery was commenced. I was not aware of anything that was
being performed on my physical body. I was gleefully wandering somewhere in the
most pleasant gardens and lawns in a serene atmosphere. I was aware that 'I' was
not alone and Lord Sainath was with me'.
It nearly took five hours for the surgeon and his assistants, to complete the
task of cutting the veins from my calves and thighs and plant them firmly in
place in the arteries. The operation was successful. Probably it took another
six hours for me to regain my consciousness. My wife, it seems was continuously
praying Baba for the success of the surgery and for my speedy recovery. Her
prayers were answered. She was there to give me an assuring smile although in
tears of joy.
I came to senses all right! But I was trying to find me! I was neither there nor
here! It took me some time. May be a minute or two, I am not sure! Suddenly I
realized that I was with Baba, and I was walking down from the inside of his
heart back to my bed. I was in a state of confusion! I did not for a moment
understand why I had to leave Baba and that beautiful garden and walk down to
this miserable place. I started looking for him. I could not find! Then after
some time, I concluded that he had walked along with me and may have entered my
heart! Yes, He is still there! Always there! I am not sure when I will have
another opportunity roaming those gardens with Him! Why should I worry? Let Him
decide.
One thing that has entered my heart now after the surgery is not the new veins
'but that' I am not alone and Baba is always with me! He loves, provides and
protects.
"I am not alone, Baba is with me" is not an exclusive privilege of mine. It is a
fact decreed for every devotee. We have to be aware of His presence. He is with
us hearing and looking at everything we say and do. He is witnessing our every
speech and actions. The moment the awareness of his continuous presence is felt,
we get transformed. The thoughts which are the cause of our speech and actions
will naturally get oriented to speak and do things which have His approval. Our
ego the 'I' will get a knock and a slap. Our speech will get changed to be very
courteous and polite. We start appreciating others. We will start saying "Oh!
You have done a great job". This is because we also feel the Lord's presence in
the person, whom we are addressing. We shall start saying, "I admit I was
wrong". I know how difficult it is to admit our inadequacies. But with the
awareness of his presence in us it is easy. The 'I' becomes a non-entity. When
the 'I' gives room for 'We' the life turns out to be a happy passing phase.
One more thing we normally say "I did this, I said this, I did that, I said
that" etc. We should make it a habit to say "Let us do this, let us do that"
etc. Let us include Him also in whatever we say or do. I am a non-entity without
Him. It is He who does everything and we are only His instruments.
The eight words "I am not alone, Baba is with me" is a mantra that we have to
repeat daily and at all times and feel His presence with us!