—Shri B. R. Kakade,Dahisar (West)
How I became a Sai Devotee will mean explaining one's own experiences in one's own point of view. However, the result of such writing will lead the readers to the path of Sai devotion. I have full faith in Sai.
I was not believing in God in my childhood, but my father never got angry with me nor used any wild words for my peculiar thinking about God. However, he used his intellect to change my mind towards the belief in God; and that too through his good colleagues who made a fine friendship with me by requesting me by honouring me to read some religious books for them as they were old and could not pay attention to reading. This made me change my views about God in "Sagun" and "Nirgun" aspects i.e. the formed and formless aspects. The marble idols of God in whom people believe which were mere STONES for me in the beginning of my life—now became practical observances in my daily life and the source of inspiration.
In my school days in 1927, when I was only
16 years of age, I was trapped in the big flood of Gujarat. I was at Baroda with
my father at that time. Heavy flood waters divided the city into two parts and
both of us were in one part and my younger brother and grandmother were in the
other. We tried to cross the river bridge of high level water but the police
objected to this. However, we tried to enter the water on the bridge travelling
upto my neck,
We failed to return and thus were trapped by waters of the flood. At this critical time of life and death, one tall man of about 7 feet in height, having beard and Roomal on head shouted loudly directing us both to stand at the same place and he came through water, got both of us in his own hands and took us to the other side of the roaring river where my brother and grandmother were anxiously waiting for us. I inquired about the person who saved us and it is a wonder to note that he was not there. I tried to find him out but in vain. This was the first devotional darshan of Shri Sai in my life in 1927.
"How I became a Sai Devotee" will require me to explain some more facts as I am happy in these days of my life at the age of 63 years and that Shri Sai is always with us as I feel how my spiritual life is holy and perfect in the end of my life. For this I was required to follow Shri Sai Baba through my impulse and the quickening impulse which came from outside cannot be received from books. The 'soul' can only receive impulse from another soul and from nothing else. In my views, I can say that we can read books all our lives, we can become very intellectual and in the end we find that we have not developed at all spiritually. This type of study will not be equivalent in development of the spiritual side of a man. On the other hand, we find cases almost every day when the intellect has become very highly developed at the expense of the spirit. In intellectual development, we can get much help from books, but in spiritual development almost nothing.
In studying books, sometimes we feel that
we are developed in "thinking" and that we are spiritually helped but if we
analyze ourselves, we will find that only our intellect has been helped and not
the spirit. This is the reason why almost everyone of us can speak most
wonderfully on spiritual subjects but when SAI came, we found ourselves so
woefully deficient. This is because books cannot give us that "impulse" from
outside. This should come from another soul from which this impulse comes is
called the "Guru”, "The Teacher"—and the soul to which this impulse is conveyed
is called the "Shishya", "The student". In order to convey this power of
transmission of messages from the Guru to the Shishya and vice versa, will
require to plough the field of living seed and when both these conditions are
fulfilled, a wonderful growth of religion takes place. And this happened
practically in my life in 1943 when my eldest daughter was ill by double typhoid
fever for 42 days (Relapsed case). A committee of 3 doctors declared her case as
"Fatal" one on the 41st day of her illness and asked me to leave this case to
God. The same day, it happened so, that one old man (with beard) from Madras had
come to us through one of my friends in Baroda and when that bearded old man saw
my daughter, he told me not to fear. I was surprised in listening to him when I
was actually facing a critical moment in life, but the old man had convinced me
in such a way that I became fearless when I came to know that the man was not
present at night when my daughter got a dream of Sai Baba. I had inquired with
my friend about the old man but in vain. His advice was nothing but the
devotional Darshan for the second time in my life. When I was only 32 years old,
This all happened in my life which gave me
the direction to follow the devotional side of Shri Sai Baba to understand that
we must first try to get the 'idea' that is conveyed through "Inherent Tendency"
Here I can see a fine example of a lake for
the mind. It can be said that every ripple or wave that rises on the surface of
the lake; does not die out entirely when it subsides, but leaves a "mark" behind
or a future possibility of the rising of similar waves on it. Whatever may be
its nature, this mark of the possibility of the wave re-appearing is what is
called "Sanskar" or "Inherent Tendency'. Every work that we do even to every
moment of the time and every movement of the body, every thought that we think,
leaves such an "Impression" on the mind stuff and even when such impressions of
obvious on the surface, they are sufficiently strong to work beneath the surface
subconsciously. What we are every moment is determined by the sum total of such
previous impressions on the mind.
What I am just at this moment when I am
writing on this subject is the effect of the sum total of all the impressions
that have been left in my mind by each and all the works that I have done in my
pastlife and that is why I experience Sadguru Sai in my practical life without
having a blind faith. Sadguru Sai always teaches me to look to Him and naturally
He looks to me and I say:
In Matavaley Do Nayanomayn Kya Jadu Hain!
Jadu Hain! Jadu Hain!
Dil Poochh Rahaa Hain Ab Muzasey——
Nainone Kahaa Hain Kya Tuzasey——
Jub Naina Miley, Nainone Kahaaa——
Ab Nain Basengey Naino Mein——
Jadu Hain! Jadu Hain! Jadu Hain!